Winx Club Cast's Twisted Reality
by Chibi Horsewoman
Summary: Yes I know I have a lot of fanfics to update and stuff that I haven’t finished chapters to, but bear with me. Because this is funny! Short chapter this time, I ran out of ideas.
1. Floating, Falling and Villains

**The Winx Club Cast's Twisted Reality**

**You don't want to know why I did this!**

**Summary: Yes I know I have a lot of fanfics to update and stuff that I haven't finished chapters to, but bear with me. Because this is funny! It also involves some abuse of Bloom.**

**Disclaimer: Brandon beating Timmy on Jeopardy- file that under things that will never happen**

**Dedication: Anyone who is still reading my stories.**

**The law of floating**: Just because you're not supposed to be floating doesn't mean that you can't

**Brandon** (Up in the air) So true (Crashes on Bloom) Ow!

**Bloom: **(rubs her head) I can't believe you didn't watch where you were landing!

Well, no one said it would be permanent

**The law of gravity:** It is entirely possible to levitate

**Brandon:** (Leaps into the air and stays there) Whoa! Cool!

**The second law of gravity: **Even if it's just a foot off the bed

**Brandon: **(seven inches from his bed) Al...most… there!

**The law of clothing:** You can be freezing wearing a strapless dress, but the moment you transform into your Winx outfit you're warm as toast.

(Places the Winx girls in the Artic Circle)

**Stella:** Oh yeah! (transforms into her Winx outfit) Yes it worked!

**The second law of clothing: **Even if the Winx outfit is less than what you were wearing.

**Musa: **(Transforms into her Winx outfit) Yep that's the facts

**The law of bad guys**: The more evil you are, the more cliché your behavior is.  
**Icy**: oh shut up! (Thank you Duckie)

**The law of being engaged**: Even if you are engaged you will still find someone you are more attracted to.

**Sky**: Yes!

**Diaspro**: That is so not fair!

**Bloom**: Oh shut up!

**The Law of Girlfriends part one**: It is perfectly acceptable to lie to your girlfriend.

**Guys**: Oh hell yeah!

**Girls**: Where did you get that from?

**The Law of Girlfriends part two: **Even if you lie to your girlfriend she will eventually forgive you

**Sky and Brandon:** Thank El!

**The Law of Girlfriends part three: **Even if you were lying about your identities and being engaged.

**Layla:** That is just plain stupid!

**This has been part one of Winx Club Twisted reality Stay tuned for part two coming soon and please review**


	2. Food, hair and the 5 laws of Boys

**The Winx Club Cast's Twisted Reality**

**You don't want to know why I did this!**

**Summary: Yes I know I have a lot of fanfics to update and stuff that I haven't finished chapters to, but bear with me. Because this is funny! It also involves some abuse of Bloom.**

**Disclaimer: This was messed up before I even arrived!**

**Dedication: My wonderful reviewers.**

**More insanity!**

Well the Winx Club cast is back for more discoveries in the second edition of their twisted reality. With more laws of probability.

**The law of edible food:** Whatever seems edible should be edible

**Stella:** I like this rule (Takes a large bite of a week old ham and swiss on what looks to be bleu cheese bread) yummy!

**The second law of edible food:** Even if it doesn't seem like it should be food you should at least try it out to make sure

**Stella:** Okay (Takes a bite out of a wall) Blech! This is not yummy!

**The law of powers:** You can be rumored to have moon powers, but even if you don't ever use them people still believe they exist.

**Stella:** Yay!

**Layla:** That was dumb

**The law of liquids solids and colors:** No matter what happens or where you are you can always turn water molecules into pink goop

**Layla:** And they make great gifts too! (Makes a pony)

**Brandon:** My pony! (Hugs pony)

**The law of landings:** Yes this should have been covered under floating but who cares. No matter where you are you will always land on someone

**Sky:** Whoa! Cool! (Jumps from a tree and lands on Bloom)

**Bloom:** Sky! Do something about your fat butt!

**Sky:** Only if you do something about your big thighs!

**The law of makeup: **Wearing dark eye shadow under your eyes is very fashion forward.

**Icy: **You got that right. (Applies more eye shadow)

**The law of hair:** It makes perfect sense to only straighten your hair when you're going to attack musical fairies and their fathers. But you have to leave it frizzy the rest of the time

**Stormy:** How is that a bad thing? (Looks confused)

**The law second law of hair:** It is perfectly normal for your hair to get wet and not lose its shape

**(Dumps a bucket of water on Riven's head)**

**Riven: **Ta da! See still pointy

**Darcy: **It's like a cross between garlic and Jell-O

**The law of eye sight:** You only need to wear glasses when you aren't transformed. The magic makes your eye sight 20/20

**Darcy:** Yeah don't you all wish you were cool like me? (Walks into a wall)

**Musa:** I guess Darcy forgot her contacts.

**The law of hair and eyesight:** Even if your hair is covering your eyes completely you can still see well out of both eyes.

**Helia:** (walks outside with the eye that isn't covered by hair closed and dodges cars) Sweet!

**Flora:** Don't try this at home kids

**The law of boyfriends:** If during one season you are the only one of your friends without a boyfriend don't worry the creators of the show are right on it.

**Flora:** Yay!

**Layla:** Oh God no!

**The second law of boyfriends:** If the creators of the show don't give you a boyfriend, don't worry there are plenty of fanfic writers willing to give it a shot.

**Layla:** Just shoot me okay?

**The first law of guys: **If there is a group of guys, it is a given that one of them will have clichéd tough guy behavior

**Riven:** Screw you! (Thank you Duckie)

**Sky:** Wow! You're right!

**The second law of guys:** If there is a group of guys, it is a given that one of them will have clichéd wanna be leader behavior.

**Riven:** (points at Sky) You've got that right!

**Sky:** What are you trying to say? I'm a great leader

**Riven:** Whatever man. Just… watch out for that tree

**The third law of guys:** If there is a group of guys, it is a given that one of them will have clichéd smart guy behavior. He will also have glasses to offset that cliché

**Timmy:** (Stops doing some kind of engineering thing) What is that supposed to mean?

**Helia:** Perhaps that you are the clichéd smart guy?

**Timmy:** Oh. (goes back to his engineering thing)

**The fourth law of guys:** If there is a group of guys, it is a given that one of them will have clichéd pleasantly clueless behavior.

**Brandon:** Uh what?

**Riven:** Point taken.

**Brandon:** What's this about points?

**Layla:** Shut up already.

**Brandon:** Shut up about what?

**The fifth law of guys:** If there is a group of guys, it is a given that one of them will have clichéd artsy guy behavior.

**Helia:** What do you mean by clichéd?

**The fifth law of guys continued:** This guy will also try to claim he's a pacifist but beat the crap out of tons of people. Or he just really sucks at fighting.

**Helia:** Oh this is on!

**Tecna:** Oh she got you there.

_**This ends the second edition of the laws**_

**Thank you to: Anubis, zodiacdragonHatori, PupleNova823, and PheobetheQueenoftheDragons. They were really nice and if anyone has any ideas for these laws of relativity please place them in your review and if I use them I'll give you credit**


	3. The Six Laws of Magical Girls

**The Winx Club Cast's Twisted Reality**

**You don't want to know why I did this!**

**Summary: Yes I know I have a lot of fanfics to update and stuff that I haven't finished chapters to, but bear with me. Because this is funny! It also involves some abuse of Bloom.**

**Disclaimer: This was messed up before I even arrived!**

**Dedication: My reviewers who have given me some good ideas**

**The Six laws of Magical Girls**

My wonderful reviewers and I have thought up some more laws of engagement to try out on the Winx Club characters. So without further ado, let's do it!

**The first law of magical girls: **If there is a group of magical girls in a show to go with the group of guys one of them will be the clichéd wanna be leader who saves everyone with her powers

**Bloom:** Hey what is that supposed to mean?

**Tecna:** That you're the leader I guess.

**Bloom: **Ok, but I feel like I've been insulted somehow

**Icy:** Survey says 'Yes'

**The second law of magical girls:** If there is a group of magical girls it is pretty much expected that one of them will be the clichéd ditzy girl. The show gets bonus points if she's blonde and stereotypically obsessed with boys and fashion.

**Stella:** Uh what are you trying to say?

**Darcy:** Probably that you're that kind of girl.

**Stella:** Am I being punked?

**Darcy:** No clue

**The third law of magical girls:** If there is a group of magical girls there has to be one who is either wanna be skater, wanna be gangsta wanna be tomboy or a combination of all three.

**Musa:** That is so buggin'

**Bloom:** How? It's true.

**Musa:** Why don't you just shut it before I make you shut it?

**Bloom:** (backs away slowly)

**The fourth law of magical girls:** If there is a group of magical girls and you have already ruled out the first three laws then there is a chance that one girl will be the stereotypical shy girl with a lack of self esteem.

**Flora:** (runs off crying)

**The fifth law of magical girls:** It is perfectly acceptable for one of the magical girls in your group to have no idea how anything non technological works. Infact- it's expected.

**Tecna:** Well let me analyze that fact to make sure it's correct.

**The sixth law of magical girls:** There always has to be a member of a group of magical girls who truly is very good at sports and is very independent. Unfortunately she also has to have had a crappy childhood

**Layla:** Yes! I mean... crap!

_**Thus ends the third chapter. The fourth will have everyone's ideas**_

**Thank you very much: zodiacdragonHatori mmramen, Stella n Brandon 4eva, the extremely intelligent PurpleNova823, Kira222, and silentxloudmouth (I'm using thosetwo ideas next chapter)**


	4. Magical Powers, Pets and stuff

**The Winx Club Cast's Twisted Reality**

**You don't want to know why I did this!**

**Summary: Yes I know I have a lot of fanfics to update and stuff that I haven't finished chapters to, but bear with me. Because this is funny! It also involves some abuse of Bloom.**

**Disclaimer: This is a book. Unless you are illiterate then it's a coaster.**

**Dedication: Silentxloudmouth who gave me these first two ideas Titi who gave me the one about bunnies and Duckie who's in there somewhere **

**The first law of magical powers:** No matter how long you've had your powers, you're always more powerful then all the rest of the magical beings that have been training and developing their powers years longer as long as you're the main character.

**Bloom:** Whoa cool! It so rules to be the headliner!

**Other girls: **Grr!

**The second law of magical powers: **You can have your powers stolen and on the verge of dying but somehow are always able to get them back, get ten times stronger then the person who stole them from you, beat the person who stole them from you, and end up saving everyone else single handedly even though put together all of them couldn't stop the villain, all within 10 minutes.

**Bloom: **Well of course. Because I'm the headliner. I mean the show was going to be called Magical Bloom in the first place not Winx Club!

**Other Girls: **(Beat the crap out of Bloom)

**The first law of acquiring new allies:** Teaming up with someone you have never met because they seem evil and break you out of prison is a good thing.

**Stormy:** Are you sure about that?

**Darcy:** Yeah I mean didn't you see season two?

**Musa:** Hey, it worked for us. Ya got owned!

**The second law of acquiring new allies: **If for some reason the person you teamed up with turns on you, blame your enemies.

**Icy: **Hey, it's always worked for me.

**The first law of pet bunnies: **No matter what you think, say, or do, bunnies are secretly butterfly-winged magical creatures (thanks to Titi for this idea)  
**Bloom: **That's just odd. (sees Kiko flying by with a set of wings) Or not (falls over)

**The second law of pet bunnies: **It is perfectly normal for pet bunnies to exhibit human like behavior.

**Sky: **Well okay if you say so (doesn't sound convinced)

**Kiko:** (Holds up a sign that says: It better be okay stupid head!)

**Sky:** (Reads the sign) Yeah, like I'm gonna listen to a dumb bunny

**Kiko: **(attacks Sky)

**The first law of evil plans:** Evil plans that only cause the Winx girls to cry do not really constitute evil plans. (thanks Duckie)

**Stormy: **Well there goes my evening

**The second law of evil plans: **But if you can make an evil plan that causes them to cry because they lost a boyfriend or flying bunny and it will happen in public go for it!

**Stormy: **Yes! I'm back on!

**The First law of villains: **No matter who you hire, you'll always end up betraying them or throwing them into a separate dimension (Titi)

**Icy:** You don't say.

**The law of alphabetical order:** In the realm of Magix B comes before A and no one really cares about it except people whose names begin with B.

**Amaryl:** Ha ha!

**Bloom: **Dammit!

_**Well this ends chapter four.**_

_**Sorry Titi I couldn't think of how to explain the shiny jewelry.**_

**Thank you: Avi, Stella n Brandon 4eva, PurpleNova823, Der Mertzgermeister, silentxloudmouth, Tearsofthefireflower, and Crystal Hauntress.**

_**I'm planning on doing laws of clothing and laws of traffic next. Any ideas?**_


	5. The Nine Laws of Fashion

**The Winx Club Cast's Twisted Reality**

**You don't want to know why I did this!**

**Summary: Yes I know I have a lot of fanfics to update and stuff that I haven't finished chapters to, but bear with me. Because this is funny! This chapter contains Stella abuse and defamation.**

**Disclaimer: My cat could cough up a better outfit.**

**Dedication: Everyone who really likes this story and is in friggin' love with me for writing it!**

**The Nine laws of Fashion**

**The first law of fashion:** It is perfectly acceptable to wear the same exact outfit day after day. In fact no one will have a second thought about it.

**Stella:** Who says I wear the same outfit day after day?

**The second law of fashion:** You can wear the ugliest most God awful clothes imaginable, call them couture and people will think you're a fashion Diva.

**Stella:** Hey, who's saying that my clothes are ugly?

**Amentia:** Not me… but your hair, what a horrid color.

**The third law of fashion:** You can be the world's biggest fashion diva while wearing the same outfit everyday that doesn't even match. (Thank you SilentxLoudmouth)

**Stella:** I am so calling my attorney about this defamation of character.

**The Fourth law of fashion:** Bathing suits, clothing resembling bathing suits and platform sandals are perfectly suited for trudging through the words.

**Stella:** Cool (trips over a tree branch) Owie!

**Bloom:** Okay! (Gets eaten alive by mosquitoes)

**The fifth law of fashion:** It's perfectly normal for you to dress in hippie clothing (square glasses, loose pants, psychedelic halter) and still be dubbed as the fashionable one of the witches (Thanks to PurpleNova823)

**Darcy:** Hey! The retro look is in!

**The sixth law of fashion:** It's perfectly normal for the nerdiest guy in the group to be the best dressed.

**Timmy:** Whoa, cool! I'm the best dressed.

**Brandon:** Oh please. Timmy is hardly GQ material

**Layla:** Well at least he doesn't wear flares and belly shirts

**Brandon:** True.

**The seventh law of fashion:** It is completely possible to run in five inch high platforms and not break an ankle.

**Stella:** (runs) It's true!

**The eighth law of fashion:** If your clothes were ever to tear, rip, or snag, don't worry, they'll be fixed in the next five to ten seconds (Titi)

**Bloom:** (Has her pants ripped after she trips and falls in the woods while running in her platform sandals) Okay (waits seventeen seconds and her pants are now unripped) Cool!

**The ninth law of fashion:** It is perfectly normal for parts of your clothing or accessories to either disappear or change color.

(Musa is in fairy form, Bloom is wearing her first season clothes and Tecna is in fairy form)

**Musa:** That's just nuts

**Bloom:** Yeah I know

**Tecna:** Completely illogical

(Suddenly Musa's midsection vanishes, Bloom's shoes turn from yellow to pink and Tecna's sleeves leave for worlds unknown)

**All three girls:** What the (Censored)

**_End of chapter 5_**

**Yeah I know short, but I had to think of nine things!**

**Thanks: Stella n Brandon 4eva, PurpleNova823, Phil SilentxLoudmouth, Ayi, zodiacdragonHatori and TearsoftheFireFlower**

**_Next up are the Rules of Pixies. Keep those reviews coming_**


	6. The Laws of Pixies part 1

**The Winx Club Cast's Twisted Reality**

**You don't want to know why I did this!**

**Summary: Yes I know I have a lot of fanfics to update and stuff that I haven't finished chapters to, but bear with me. Because this is funny! **

**Disclaimer: It's not so much a story as it is a desperate cry for help**

**Dedication: Everyone who really likes this story and is in friggin' love with me for writing it!**

**The Laws of Pixies**

**The First law of pixies: **If there is a group of magical pixies then there will always be one who needs a translator. (Titi) She will hopefully be bonded to a fairy who understands her.

**Piff: **Dob bah dob do dah!

**Chatta:** Piff said that was rude

**The second law of pixies:** If there is a group of magical pixies then there has to be one who talks too much and will be bonded to the shy fairy with no self esteem.

**Chatta: **But I'll cheer her on! Go Flora!

**Flora:** (runs off crying because she really didn't want anyone to know about her self esteem issues)

**The third law of pixies: **It makes sense to have your name be Tune even if you are the pixie of manners and you have nothing to do with music. Infact you can't even sing!

**Tune:** (Screams) That was very rude!

**The fourth law of pixies: **No matter what you may think, the power to sleep really helps the team when you're trying to beat up evil people (Thank you Purple Nova)

**Piff:** Goo gahh? Ahh?

**Lockette: **Piff says, what do you mean sleep doesn't help?

_**Sadly that is all I could think of. Please read and review. **_

_**And if I think of more rules for Pixies I'll make a part two.**_


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